Character isn't random. It's not some fixed personality you're born with. It's a signature your brain wrote, one experience and one stimulus at a time, until the pattern became invisible to you.
Your brain is lying about the timeline. It lost the receipts. But the experiences are still there, still shaping every decision you think you're making in the moment. You can dig them up if you look long enough. Although don't dig too hard. We know how that ends.
When you're ready to remember, you'll remember. And when it clicks, it will all make sense. Not because the pieces were hidden, but because you finally had the context to read them.
Whatever you try to force on your brain or your body, you lose. That's the paradox: the harder you push against yourself, the more you become the thing you're fighting.